'Ambassador showstopper Ambience has easily the poshest cabin I've ever seen'

My left foot is in the Baltic Sea, my right foot is in the North Sea and waves are dancing towards me from opposite directions. It’s wild, wonderful and a little weird as I step off what feels like the edge of the known world into the chilly water.

This is Grenen, in Denmark, at the tip of the Jutland peninsula where a 20-mile long sand spit narrows to nothing as it is swallowed up by the famously treacherous seas of the Skagerrak (North) and Kattegat (Baltic), which meet but do not mix due to differences in salinity, density and temperature (or possibly they are just neighbours who fell out over a boundary dispute). Not so much Land’s End, as Sand’s End.

My wife Debbie and I were on a tour from Ambassador’s 1,400-passenger cruise ship Ambience, which is docked in nearby Skagen, Denmark’s most northerly town.

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It’s a smart, likeable place of yellow-hued, red-roofed homes, shops, hotels and restaurants, which draws two million visitors a year to see the Grenen spit, a church half-swallowed by the omnipresent sand, a fishing and lifeboat museum and memorial to the many lost sailors – and to paint in what is regarded as glorious light for artists.

The fishing port is one of Europe’s largest, it’s the chief local employer and we were amazed by the vast size of some of the trawlers. We’d joined the ship, built in 1991 and given a major refurbishment in 2022, for a voyage to Scandinavia (or should that be Sandinavia?) from the London International Cruise Terminal in Tilbury, Essex. The Art Deco building dates from 1930 and is Grade II listed.

Handily, it’s just a half-hour drive from home for us – Ambassador also offers many convenient regional sailings from ports such as Bristol, Newcastle, Liverpool and Dundee – and it was an absolute doddle with the car park and luggage drop, then a short stroll to the terminal.

It’s worth taking the time to check the displays on the Empire Windrush immigration ship from 1948 and mail and cargo manifests from more than a century ago when Tilbury served the empire by sea.

So, speedily processed in the terminal and cruise cards picked up, we had gone from car park to cabin in a very impressive 41 minutes. Beat that.

And when I say cabin I more mean Manhattan penthouse! I have lived in flats considerably smaller than this and with none of the luxuries such as Occidental amenities, two TVs, a bath and shower, lounge/diner, dressing room, minibar, a vast amount of storage space and a large balcony.

A genuine showstopper and easily the poshest cabin we’ve ever had in a cruise ship. And we’ve had a few. We were still taking it all in (and taking many photos) when the bags arrived, again super-speedy work, and our friendly steward Mario introduced himself and gave us the cabin tour.

Helpfully, all the plugs are three-pin British with USB ports and the tea is Tetley, with a coffee pod machine and daily refilled bottles of filtered water. With a sailaway at 5pm, we had time to explore the 70,285 gross tonnage ship to get our bearings and do musters then watch the journey down the Thames Estuary with a glass of Prosecco on the open deck. Later, we’d be back on deck to look at the vast, mesmerising North Sea wind farms.

After a leisurely sea day (admittedly we’d overslept with the clocks changing and entirely missed breakfast!), day two had us docking in Gothenburg, Sweden’s second-largest city. We’d booked an excursion to Marstrand island, former royal summer retreat of King Oscar II (an Oscar wild for women, apparently) around an hour up the coast from the port.

The island is reached by just a 200-yard ferry journey to the pretty harbour with cobbled streets, upscale shops, cafes, taverns and restaurants. However, just past the (allegedly) randy king’s summer house is one of the most forbidding castles you’ll ever see.

Carlsten fortress dates from the mid-17th century, looks like it escaped from Game Of Thrones and we were not too surprised to learn it was also a prison. Our guide showed us the cells, the display of torture and execution instruments and the separate cells used for five years in solitary.

These are bleak beyond belief and one features a painting of horse and rider on a wall. What did the prisoner use for paint, you ask? His blood. What was his crime, you ask? He had publicly denounced Holy Communion. Harsh, those 17th-century Swedes.

We cheered ourselves up with a visit to the gallows in the keep then took in the view of the coast from
the battlements.

Back on board, the avuncular and chatty Captain Egil, from Norway, was on the Tannoy that evening to tell us that the second stop in Sweden, Helsingborg, was now off-limits for cruise ships of a certain size (not that Ambience is particularly large by modern standards) so we would be staying in the Danish capital Copenhagen overnight and an extra day. Not the worst news we’d ever had.

The ship docks in the southern part of Copenhagen port and means a ­30-minute stroll to the city centre, via the ‘‘The Most Photographed Woman in Denmark’’. Yes, of course the Little Mermaid statue, which is slightly underwhelming but draws huge crowds of tourists for that essential Copenhagen photo opp.

It’s a grand-looking city of canals, redbrick older buildings, some modern development around the port mostly, but overall such a handsome, clean place and a pleasure to walk around – not least as the numerous local cyclists actually stop at red lights and pedestrian crossings.

We’d been a couple of times before, but not to the ­world-renowned Tivoli Gardens, a jolly city centre oasis of ponds, gardens, bars and restaurants and 30-plus theme park rides.

That was first on the list and we sauntered around, whizzed on roller coasters, flying carpets and swings and wound down in the serene aquarium. Next day, another must-see beckoned – pretty Nyhavn, a canal flanked by colourful buildings which are home to numerous bars and restaurants. Here, you can join a canals and harbour boat tour and we enjoyed the hour pootling around with a guide telling us about the historic and modern architecture and those fascinating snippets you only get
from alocal.

He ­recommended the Broens street food market across the harbour (there is a pedestrian/cycle bridge from Nyhavn) where we narrowed down an overwhelming choice to fish and chips, as that seemed to be what the locals were mostly having!

Our Copenhagen sailaway that night took us past Helsingborg and, across the strait in Denmark, Kronborg Castle, which was the setting (as Elsinore) for Hamlet.

Skagen and Sand’s End seen (we noted how the captain gave it a very wide berth), a sea day with a spa treatment and another night took us back to the Thames Estuary, where we docked at Tilbury at 8am, were off the ship to the car park via bag collection at 8.30am and home by 9.15am.

We had such an easy, enjoyable week away and did not have to go to the ends of the Earth to find it. Well, actually...

We visited the top-notch, main included, Buckingham restaurant on five nights and were superbly looked after by servers Adie and Noor with standout dishes including a roast beet tartare with goat’s cheese, walnuts and rocket, a beef Wellington and a roast pork belly.

Our only quibbles were a couple of the grilled fish dishes we had contained some small bones and we sometimes felt a bit rushed. The drinks package allowed us to have the premium Spanish wines, with the zingy rosé proving perilously good. Also included is the Borough Market buffet, which can be very busy at breakfast and lunch but we always found a seat and something we liked.

Ambience has two extra-charge speciality restaurants and our ­seven-course tasting menu at Sea & Grass was fabulous. As the name suggests, it showcases seafood and meat and the smoked salmon, mushroom soup and pulled lamb were especially memorable with superb presentation and service.

Curry house Saffron also impressed, with excellent kebab starters and Thali veggie dishes and tamarind prawn mains. Our cleared plates said it all. The Coffee House is the go-to for that caffeine fix (extra charge), while The Grill by the pool rustles up included hotdogs, burgers and pizzas.

Our favourite bar was the swish and popular Botanical, perfect for anaperitif accompanied by the delightful sounds of classical violin and piano pair Mystic Duo.Version:1.0 StartHTML:000000096 EndHTML:000003119 StartFragment:000000186

We had plenty of variety, including a shocking performance in the interactive pop quiz (at least the winner was on our table!) in the Purple Turtle pub, but better efforts in the natural world and decades quizzes.

In the main theatre, we loved a wryly amusing stage play based on infidelity and a video doorbell and a murder-mystery matinee set in 1963 Cold War Berlin with more smiles via witty audience participation.

Late-night action saw us at the Observatory lounge’s lively Abba night and the brilliant mash-up of all four house bands, which filled the dance floor.

Book the holiday

• Ambassador Cruise Line offers an eight-night Scandinavia round trip on Ambience, sailing from the London Cruise Terminal in Tilbury, Essex, on December 4 and calling at Gothenburg, Copenhagen and Kristiansand from £519pp. ambassadorcruiseline.com
• More info at visitsweden.com visitdenmark.com visitnorway.com